It's Because I Love You
by herzog
Summary: Mr Miami comes to town, Ziva and Tony have a big and very bitter argument about the similarities in their relationships with Michael and Jeanne. . .


Alright folks bit of a random one here, been thinking about it for a while and to be honest I am not sure it's as good as i was hoping but never mind at least this way it's done! Just thoughtI'd better say I don't think I've watched all the eps with michael in them or if i have i was missing the story because i don't think i ever properly understood his story so if i have made a factual error i apologise! x

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"What do you mean you will see me in a little while?" Ton looked up as Ziva strolled into the bullpen while speaking on her mobile. "You are here in D.C?" she exclaimed as she came to a sudden stop. "Well I suppose I could come out for lunch . . . since it is with you." she laughed and carried onto to her desk while Tony screwed his face up in disgust and sighed. "OK, see you soon!" Ziva hung up and sighed happily.

"Who was that?" Tony asked, as if he couldn't guess.

"Ray! He has come to surprise me, he wants to talk to me about something important."

"Oh really, how did he sound? Do you think it's THE talk." He asked hopefully but Ziva just frowned at him.

"What do you mean THE talk?"

"You know, the talk. It's not you it's me, I think you're great but I'd rather get to know you as a friend, I think we've had our time together . . ."

"You think he would have come all this way just to break up with me?" she laughed and grinned at him, "HE seemed really happy and excited on the phone . . ." she stared out the window thoughtfully.

"Yeah, happy and excited cause he's about to give you the heave ho and be free again!" Tony insisted and leant back in his chair.

"I do not think so Tony." She smiled and slid across the floor towards his desk and bent towards him, "He has never complained about being . . . tied to me." she whispered huskily before straigtening up. "I am going to freshen up." Tony watched her walk away and then groaned, burying his head in his hands.

A few moments later Ziva's phone began to ring, Tony stared at it for a while before pulling himself up and walking over to answer it.

"Agent David's desk."

"Hi, there's a Raymond Golding here to see Agent David."

"Oh right, ok I'll come down and get him." He replied flatly and hung up.

Tony leant his head against the wall of the lift and closed his eyes, trying to imagine what Mr Miami looked like. Hideous hopefully, a beast. Yeah that would be good, maybe a bit fat too and annoying, really annoying, anything to make it less likely Ziva could bear to stay with the guy. He reached the ground floor and stepped out into the foyer scanning the room for an obese idiot. His heart sank however when he caught sight of an Adonis by the front desk. It had to be Ray he was just so . . . Miamian, tall, relaxed, tanned, muscley, god he hated him.

"Hi Tony." The receptionist greeted him as she handed Ray a visitors pass.

"Tony? Tony DiNozzo?" Ray cried and spun round.

"Yeah," Tony replied, perturbed by his exuberance.

"Well, I finally get to meet the big hero." Ray held out his hand and shook Tony's warmly. "Great!"

"Er . . .hero?" Tony frowned and started to lead the other man towards the lifts.

"Oh come on don't be modest! Z told me all about you rescuing her from the dessert, what a guy!" Tony froze to the spot just as Ray clapped him on the shoulder.

"She spoke to you about her time in the dessert?"

"Well . . . just a bit, mostly about when you rescued her. You know she doesn't like to talk about what happened out there, it was pretty rough but if I ask her about one of her scars sometimes she'll tell me how she got it. Not often though and half the time it's not even related to the . . . well dessert" Ray shrugged and looked placidly at Tony while he quietly fumed inside. "This guy?" he thought, "She'll talk to this random guy about what happened to her there but not to me? _oooooh sometimes she tells me about her scars_ huh I asked her why she flinches every time a dog barks and what did I get NOTHING, I hate this guy." Tony suddenly realised that they were still standing in the middle of the floor but Ray was still staring at him pleasantly. In fact, Tony thought he could detect a bit of admiration in the other man's eyes. Maybe he wasn't all bad. Still not great though. "Right, well, we'd better get going. She'll be waiting for you by now." he said dully and turned back towards the lifts.

"Any ideas about where I should take Zi for lunch? I want somewhere special." Ray asked amiably as they waited for a lift.

"There's a Turkish place a few streets away, Mahir's it's her favourite place round here. Got anything special planned?"

"Oh I just want to ask her something." A stab of fear pierced through Tony's flesh.

"What?" he choked.

"Well, I think I'm going to ask her to move in with me all this travelling back and forth is getting a bit ridiculous, I think it's time we both settled in the same place you know?"

"Oh . .. Right. So you're moving to D.C then?"

"Oh I couldn't do that, my business is based in Miami, I could never leave for good. No I am going to ask her to move south with me. Do you think she'll come?" the doors slid open and Ray stepped into the lift but Tony remained glued to the spot.

"No! No way she won't move." he blurted out. "I mean . . .She can't move." He followed Ray into the lift.

"Why not?"

"Well her whole life is here, her job, her friends., everything."

"Yeah I know, but my whole family is in Miami and she doesn't have family here and I definitely can't leave the business. I feel bad about asking her to do this but I think it's better in the long run and besides, I'm sure she'll get another job easily."

"She won't." Tony said flatly and reached out to flick the emergency stop switch.

"What do you mean?" Ray asked as Tony's mind raced, trying desperately to think of a reason.

"It's her citizenship, it's tied to her job here." What was it this guy did? Hope it's not a lawyer Tony thought as bluffed his way through.

"I thought she was an American now?"

"Well yeah, kind of. The thing is a lot of strings were pulled to let her become a citizen but it was conditional on her remaining an NCIS agent."

"So what, she can't just move office?" definitely not a lawyer.

"Nope, it has to be here." Tony replied solemnly.

"Oh." Ray deflated and leant back against the wall. "I see."

"And to be honest, I think it would be a bit too fast to ask her to move for you. She's not there."

"She's not?"

"No."

"But she seems so happy with me and, and, and enthusiastic and stuff."

"See well that's the thing with Ziva, it's really hard to know what she's really thinking. You might think she's really happy with you but really." Tony clicked his tongue and shrugged his shoulders.

"What?" Ray looked up at him, crestfallen.

"Oh don't get me wrong, most of the time she says great things about you."

"Just most of the time?"

"Look I'm not trying to put you down but all I'm saying is if you ask her to move she'll say no. Just don't' rush it leave it for a while." Ray nodded dumbly and Tony turned away to turn the lift back on. Adrenalin was pumping through his veins, where had that come from? He sneaked a peak at Ray, he looked devastated. To be fair if Tony was in a relationship with Ziva just been told that she wasn't really that into him then he would be gutted too. He turned away and stared straight ahead, knowing that he should feel bad about what he had just done but really he didn't care. He was just glad that he had dodged a bullet and that Ziva would be staying in D.C, with him.

Ziva and Ray had been gone just over an hour when Tony heard the lift ping. He looked up to see Ziva striding towards the bullpen, her face clouded with thunder.

"So Zee-vah how was lunch with Mr Miami?" he asked, perversely pleased that it obviously had not gone well.

"Don't!" she snapped at him.

"What?" He replied innocently she had her back to him as she walked towards her desk. She stopped stock still and raised her hand.

"Just do not talk." she flung herself down in her chair and began typing furiously, ignoring him completely.

For the rest of the afternoon Ziva worked silently but her anger polluted the air creating an oppressive atmosphere. Tony sat uncomfortably across from her, occasionally gripped by guilt he'd feel a sudden urge to explain himself maybe even apologise to Ray but then he'd catch sight of Ziva. Even looking miserable she was still more beautiful to him than anyone else and any feelings of guilt evaporated instantly, he didn't care about Ray, he didn't even care that Ziva was angry so long as she was sitting acorss the room being angry and not thousands of miles away living with Mr Miami. She would get over it, Ray was annoyingly upbeat anyway and there was no way Ziva could handle that for the rest of her life, she was far to . . . serious. Finally Ziva started gathering her things but before she could leave Tony leapt to his feet and ran across to her. "Wait a minute."

"What is it Tony? I want to go home." She sighed in exasperation and slung her rucksack over her shoulder.

"What happened at lunch?" She dropped her eyes to the floor and shifted from foot to foot.

"He uh, he broke up with me."

"He what?"

"He said that he could not see a future with me and broke up with me."

"Woah, just like that?

"Yes. Yes just like that. I do not understand, he seemed so cheerful on the phone. Did he say anything to you?"

"Eh . . . no."

"Oh, right ok. Well good night." she slipped past him and out of the bullpen. He watched her until she disappeared into the lift. So, she didn't know what he'd done and she wasn't with Ray anymore, he should be ecstatic.

Later that night Tony was nervously pacing up and down the hallway outside Ziva's flat. He was just going to see how she was, with ulterior motives. None at all. Just a friend checking up on another friend. He finally stopped outside her door and knocked. She pulled the door open wearing a slouchy t-shirt and shorts, her hair lying limp and damp around her shoulders. "What is it Tony?" she looked up at him, her eyes looked red and soar.

"I just wanted to see how you are." he said quietly.

"I am fine Tony, why would I not be?" she leant her head against the door and looked at the floor. She didn't look fine.

"Mr Miami dumped you." He said simply and she flinched.

"Thank you for reminding me."

"I'm sorry." he stepped past her into her flat and she closed the door.

"Please come in." she said sarcastically and followed him into the living room which was lit by a single lamp which cast an eery glow.

"I thought you might want to talk."

"I do not." she flopped down onto the sofa and sat silently for a few seconds while Tony stared at her. "I do not understand."

"What."

"I thought that things were going well. I thought that we were happy together. He sounded so excited on the phone and then . . ." her voice faded and she lapsed back into silence.

"Well, maybe he just realised that it would be to complicated for you two in the future and it was better for you to just end it now before it got too serious."

"But in the future we could have worked something out properly, I thought that we were just having fun for now. He only had to spend a few days a month with me and he could not even face doing that." she pulled her legs up under her chin, she looked so tiny and insecure. Tony was shocked he had never seen her look even one tiny bit unsure of herself, she was always strong and confident and now she looked crushed. "Am I really that awful?"

"No, no it's not you." the words rushed out of his mouth. He had done this, made her look so crumpled and fragile, he couldn't stand to see her upset. "I might have said some things to Ray."

"What." she fixed her dark eyes on him and instantly all moisture in his mouth evaporated.

"I, I kind of told him that you would never move to Miami and, and that you weren't that in to him and . . ."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" she lunged to her feet as he took a few steps back holding his hands up in front of him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Ziva I just, I didn't mean to it just sort of came out."

"_It just came out?"_

"I know, I know, I'm sorry but he was speaking about asking you to move to Miami and I just couldn't handle you leaving so I started saying all this stuff and he . . ."

"Could you not have just _once _kept your nose out of my business? Why will you not just let me be happy?"

"I do want you to be happy, I'll speak to Ray. I'll say that I'm wrong and that I'm sorry, anything you want I'll say it!"

"Oh do not bother!" she spat and turned away from him.

"Ziva don't!" he begged, "Look do you know where he's staying? I'll go right now."

"I said no. He was right, he can not move here and I . . . I do not think that I could move there. There is no point in dragging it out."

"Really?" Tony perked up instantly.

"There is no need to sound so happy about it."

"Sorry." he walked towards her and spun her round, wrapping his hands around her upper arms and squeezing softly. "Are you sure, I will go talk to him if you want."

"He is already gone. Anyway the last time you spoke to one of my boyfriends they ended up dead." she said bitterly causing him to drop his arms.

"That's not fair Ziva." he said softly.

"It is true though." she stared at him stonily, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

"I was only trying to protect you, it's not like I set out to kill him!"

"And yet you did."

"Oh don't start this again, I thought we had moved on."

"You might have, he was not your boyfriend, your friend, your partner."

"He wasn't any of things for you either, he was just using you!"

"So what?"

"He was using you to spy on our investigation, just as he was told to and all you can say is so what?"

"That does not mean that he did not also care about me, that he did not love me!"

"Of course it does! How could he use you like that, how could he put you in that position if he loved you?"

"You did!" Tony was taken aback by her reply, he didn't understand when had he used her?

"What are you talking about, I've never used you!"

"Not me, you used Jeanne."

"That was not the same." he hissed fiercely.

"IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME!" she screamed so forcibly at him that she took a few seconds to regain her composure, her heavy breathing the only sound in the room as he tried to digest the information.

"I loved her."

"But you only met her because Jenny ordered you to. You lied to me, your partner because you were ordered to. You used her to spy on her father do you think that we would have just moved on if I had killed her?"

"Stop it! You can't compare them I didn't just stay with her because of Jenny . . ."

"Yes you did! It was your orders of course you did, you had the choice to go with her and you did not because it was over, you did not have to. You used her . . ."

"I didn't go because I couldn't leave you all, I couldn't give up everything on one chance of . . ."

"Oh but Tony, surely if you really loved her you could have!" her angry words hung in the air while Tony stared at her stunned. He couldn't understand how this conversation had taken such a dark and twisted turn, he couldn't understand how she could compare the two situations, he couldn't believe that she had all this pent up hatred inside her which was now spewing out towards him. Suddenly he couldn't just take it and he felt strength and anger swell up inside him.

"I'm nothing like him! I loved Jeanne you know I did . . ."

"Because she was beautiful and lovely and smart and perfect whereas me? Oh I must be terrible, horrible person. I knew Michael for YEARS but obviously he could not possibly care for me at all, is that what you think?"

"What? No that's not what I said!"

"It is what you are implying! That must be it, you must presume that no one could possibly love me is that right?"

"NO! That's not what I mean it's not what I said." she turned away from him and strolled behind the sofa. "Ziva, I didn't mean to that he couldn't have cared about you I meant that he . . ."

"Maybe you are right." she said, her voice was steely and sharp, "Perhaps I am too hard and cold and . . ."

"That's not true!"

"It must be! That MUST be why no one . . ."

"I LOVE YOU!" he shouted it much louder than he intended to, he actually hadn't intended to say it at all but now it was too late and the words shot through the air like an arrow, she stopped dead.

"Don't Tony." She whispered and he felt panic choke him, what could he do now? He'd let slip his secret it was too late to take it back. He might as well take his chance.

"I mean it, I love you." it came out easier the seconded time and she slowly spun around to face him. Her face was ashen and her lips were loose, hanging ever so slightly open. She shook her head slowly.

"No, you do not stop it. You are just saying this because . . ."

"No! No I'm not just saying it I mean it." he strode towards her but she scurried a few steps back and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. "It's why I can't keep my nose out of your life, it's why I couldn't let you leave me with that guy. It's because I love you." he reached out to her but she turned sideways so that when he pulled her towards him her shoulder dug into his chest. "Ziva, come on I do love you." he raised his right hand up to stroke the side of her face before leaning forward and kissing her temple . Ziva continued to stare straight ahead, as though she were shell shocked while he buried his nose in her hair.

"Why?" her whisper wavered slightly causing him to squeeze her tightly.

"Because you're my best friend, because you are the most beautiful person I have ever met, because you are smart, because you are funny, because you're terrifying, because you're soft, because you are amazing, because I can't live without you." he finished by pressing another strong kiss against her hair, he could feel her shivering slightly in his arms. After what seemed like a hundred years of silence she finally replied.

"Ok." she sighed and turned around in his arms until she had her face buried in his chest. She slid her hands around his waist and up under his jacket until they slipped up to his shoulders, pulling him close to her. "I believe you." she said without looking up.

"Good." he sighed with relief and bent down nuzzling his face against her hair. They stood like that for a long time, not moving, not talking, not thinking until she finally spoke again.

"I love you too."


End file.
